The Paradox of Self-Education
In college, I initially felt challenged, eventually adapted to the curriculum, and ultimately felt stifled by it. The change of environment from high school, new concepts, and people helped expand my intellectual horizons by a considerable amount, but I was also constrained by the need to complete mundane requirements to formally receive my degree.
I am now employed with a 40-hour-per-week job. While there is material to be learned at the workplace, it is ultimately limiting. Being a professional pays well, but the customer ultimately rules; or in the case of a large corporate software developer, decisions are typically dictated by bureaucracy, and the true essence of the field far from being achieved. My true passions are pursued in the hours after work and before bed. We can call these hobbies.
Hobbies tend to be thought of as casual pursuits. For instance, suppose I wanted to play the piano. Being in my mid-20’s, it would take a substantial amount of time to develop a decent amount of skill. What if I find I really like it, and aspire to become really good? I certainly couldn’t quit my job, since nobody is going to pay me to learn piano. I could devote all my leisure time to it, but various duties would get in the way; chores, crunch time at work, having a social life, etc. Most good piano players my age that have considerable skill have been playing since childhood. Yet, I don’t feel it should be “too late” to pursue this.
In short, I can make a determined, committed devotion to learn something well and practice it, but it ultimately must create value in the economy for it to be considered a worthwhile endeavor. While learning is generally seen positively by society, I feel it has taken the form of being intended primarily for employment competitiveness.
Over time, these interests blossom and the passions cumulate. Many could become full-time jobs in-and-of themselves (becoming a professional piano player, for instance).
The paradox of self-education is that there are intellectually stimulating endeavors which don’t have a direct impact in the job market or in school. While learning is generally a valued skill, and the knowledge attained by it sought after, there is a limitation of the desire to learn (and by extension, produce) due to these systematic social constructs.
In these hypothetical piano studies, suppose I were compose an excellent piece of work. This is entirely possible and should not be reserved for the professionals. Perhaps I could draw from my vast programming knowledge to apply some new ideas to the piece. In fact, not being a professional musician would allow me to think outside the box to which an educated composer has conformed and hence confined his thinking. This has occurred before in the past; for example, it is widely known that the Beatles could not read music, yet are considered some of the most prolific musicians in rock and roll.
In areas more closely related to my profession, I often wanted to pursue independent projects–contributing to an open source project, getting a group of folks together to prototype a new idea, or just hacking at something cool in general–but the need to succeed in school and find a job always prevailed. In other words, I had to sacrifice potential skill-improving and value-creating pursuits to ensure my GPA was solid, I demonstrated leadership experience, and otherwise had sufficient merit to please the recruiters on campus.
It seems that perhaps the only way to fulfill the quest of self-education is to have a flexible job that teaches you one specific area, and thus allows you to utilize your free time for the remaining ones. I believe that’s how Da Vinci did it as a painter. Did other polymaths do the same? What happened to the Renaissance Man? As the human race advances, will it become more difficult to become a generalist?
I know I am not simply suffering information overload, because this is something beyond, which no amount of contemporary technology can address. The only way to address this is to quit work and school and become solely immersed in combatting this type of overload, that is, pursuing a variety of endeavors.
Lastly, I used to think that early retirement was the only way to pursue this, that is, get rich and cash out young. There is an ostracizing element to early retirement, though and remaining a part of formal institutions is beneficial for larger pursuits. I am writing vaguely here, so please inquire if you have questions or thoughts.
For those of you out there that have solved this problem, what was your solution? What is your solution? Is intellectual curiousity a life-long challenge?
Thank you for the overwhelmingly positive response. Please see further discussion at Hacker News.
[...] started writing this as a comment in reply to Adam Bossy’s post The Paradox of Self-Education. The comment became so long that I decided to turn it into a post here on my [...]
Pingback by The Pursuit of Knowledge on February 20, 2009 at 1:19 am
I started writing a response to your post, but it became so long that I decided to turn it into a post on my blog:
http://blog.raamdev.com/2009/02/19/the-pursuit-of-knowledge
Great post. Thanks!
Comment by Raam Dev on February 20, 2009 at 1:20 am
You’ve hit the nail on the head. I’m in school right now (1 more year and I’m in the “real world”) and I’m struggling with this very thing. I have so many interests, but not the time to devote to them that it takes to be great at them, and this troubles me greatly.
It has, in fact, changed my life aspirations. Instead of wanting to find a good job I enjoy, and make it my life’s work, I want to get rich fast, cash out young, and spend the rest of my life devoted to expanding myself.
It seems you had more discipline than I do, as I do let my endeavors get in the way of a higher GPA. I feel like the grades vs. extracirriculars is something of an 80/20 situation. I try to let school be my priority until it gets to the point of diminishing returns, and then I turn to my other pursuits. Perhaps school should always be the priority, and I should put off these other things until I graduate. That seems to be the common thinking, but I feel it is misguided and deadly to my motivation and love of life. Life should be about bettering yourself and the people around you, but it seems so very hard to do that these days.
I feel like I could go on for hours about this (maybe a series of blog posts sometime), but thanks for putting it down in words.
This thing is my greatest struggle in life right now, but I suppose there are worse struggles I could have.
Comment by J.R. on February 20, 2009 at 2:20 am
I am in my mid 20 and a software engineer - same boat. I have the same thoughts as well and am very passionate about learning. With that said, you basically have two choices, which i think you identified but I will restate them,
-do things on your free time and accumulate exp. that way etc, have 75% of your head at work and 25% at home
or
-you go all in and try to cash out when you are young.
I am going for the latter btw. The piece of advice I would offer is to make a choice on what path is best for you and make it fast. DO NOT let yourself get paralyzed.
-Sam
Comment by sam on February 20, 2009 at 2:26 am
I face the same question every day… though at the PhD level I have more freedom to do what I want I still feel that a lot of what I have to do is forced upon me. Is school really the best way to go? Shouldn’t I be running my own company by now? But if you have no cash then it is best to stay at school and get the scholarship no?
My solution — if I can call it that — is to pick up projects that can be “done” in one weekend and work on them (possibly with a teammate). It is a lot of fun, and most important of all it stops you from thinking about “the sideprojects’ all day long when you should be working on something else.
I have spent WAAAAY to much of my early 20-ties thinking what I could do… it feels so much better actually doing! Who knows, one day all those mini-projects might assemble into a coherent idea with a business model
Comment by Ivan on February 20, 2009 at 3:04 am
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@J.R. @sam
These are really interesting replies. I’m glad to hear you have taken action on this and pursued complete financial freedom while young. It goes along with the Paul Graham philosophy of cramming all the work that you will do in your life into a small, spastic period of time [http://paulgraham.com/wealth.html]. I may be in that situation during my 20’s, but I am not planning to succeed at it. Essentially, I figure if you reach that level of success, you will be in demand and even more opportunities will present themselves. Look at PH himself–he’s now a famous entrepreneur, essayist and investor. Hardly early retirement, yet highly enjoyable, nonetheless, I imagine.
@ Ivan
It’s important that you are producing. I feel this is critical in any situation. Even if I were to strike it rich and traveled the world, the need to itch that creative scratch would quickly become insatiable. Trust me, several of those projects may take off into something bigger. Have you read the following talk by the founder of GitHub?
http://gist.github.com/6443
Comment by adambossy on February 20, 2009 at 3:42 am
It’s not hard — rather it is hard to start, but after that it’s mostly attitude.
What you need is space and time. Save enough money to take a year or two off. It’ll take some adjustments but it’s not impossible.
You also need to stop worrying so much about approval and checking off stuff on the checklist. That’s one reason I’m glad I dropped out of high school for a voc-tech program and didn’t go to college. I didn’t get that extra 6 years of indoctrination.
The most important skill in being a generalist is not directing your curiosity too much. One year all I read was history and biography. Learned a lot about Chinese legends, Lyndon Johnson and the metal stirrup. Useless? I dunno. I had a good time and I connected a lot of dots.
The best way to find a hobby that you are enthused about *and* s useful is to simply explore all the ones that enthuse you. Can’t work the formula backwards. It’s about having fun after all. Just go have fun.
Comment by Aristus on February 20, 2009 at 4:17 am
On my campus, there are several engineering clubs. Many of the clubs are filled with business students and few engineers or even people with technical backgrounds. It is so much a problem that rumors have spread of an Aerospace professor complaining to his classes that students aren’t participating anymore. The students aren’t to blame and neither are the professors. The real devil behind all of it is accreditation. ABET is the golden cow for engineering schools. The requirements for the ABET stamp of approval are years behind industry needs. There is a chicken before the egg problem though. If schools toss out ABET, businesses won’t touch graduating engineers because they didn’t graduate from an “accredited” institution. The university is partly to blame also. Accreditation is a label they can slap on the school to justify grossly inflated prices to cover wasted spending.
The best that I can do, is eat the extra cost in loans and stick around a year longer and take lighter class loads to devote more time to my “hobbies” which include web development, programming, robotics, economics, politics,music and more. It’s paying off too. I’ve landed a juicy position on campus designing mechanical systems for a high-profile robot. I am also starting to freelance my web development skills. I would go crazy if I couldn’t keep a generalized approach to my life.
-Steven, junior ME student
Comment by steven on February 20, 2009 at 4:35 am
I completely identify with what you are saying. I am a junior in college right now, and I continually find that school gets in the way of some great ideas I would love to tackle. With the pressure to maintain my GPA and turn in a plethora of assignments each week, plus the time spent attending class, I have no opportunities to cultivate my own projects.
Motivated exploration of knowledge should be encouraged. I am told by interviewers to work on side projects as it will enhance my resume. My question is, when? With the weight of school on my shoulders now, I have no time to truly put effort into a project in a way that I could be proud of my accomplishments and stand by my creation.
The moment that the weight of college is lifted I immediately enter the workforce and take on its hefty amount of time and responsibility. I guess I am in the same boat as you because I have not found an answer to this dilemma yet.
Comment by Justin Cady on February 20, 2009 at 4:37 am
I figure if you’re gonna do this life thing, might as well go all in. More importantly, I’d rather work and do something I actually care about, than work and be miserable.
Comment by Ron on February 20, 2009 at 5:08 am
“Do what makes you happy” took me a long time to really understand, I heard it all the time before, but I didn’t realize its importance until I was not having fun for many years. If doing what makes you happy doesnt’t provide enough money immediately, just keep going at it and eventually you will be able to survive off of it. I’ve made the plunge with working on Sanbit: http://sanbit.com
Comment by sanbit on February 20, 2009 at 6:22 am
@Aristus
Wow, very impressive. I wish society was more supportive of people like you.
@steven
I don’t understand; exactly how ABET is leading to a lack of student participation in clubs?
@Justin Cady
Summer and winter breaks. Don’t be too ambitious; make a modest proposal for a project and grow it. Once you have the ball rolling, it may be easier to continue work on said project during the school year. It sounds like you are working hard, also. Your work will be rewarded in the long-run.
@Niels Olson
The “limiting projects” part is what scares me. I feel like I have been doing this for too long. I first wanted to start a company six years ago. I have wanted to build software to help me maintain a workout routine for three years. I feel like I am barely getting around to those now, and so many new ideas are on hold because of them.
Of course, for things like family, sacrifices must be made. However, I am interested in parenting because of the pursuit of these passions alongside my (potential) children. For instance, many of my friends are interested in technology and that is a deep passion that we share. Not all of my friends are interested in music, though, so the connection only goes so far. Your children are more likely to share the most characteristics with you than anybody else (they share your genes, after all), and so I feel that despite the sacrifices necessary for parenting, it can ultimately augment your path to knowledge. This has occurred with my parents, I feel. We learn a lot from each other. The same goes for marriage, but on a different level.
On the topic of generalists building bridges, I agree that this will become more important as time goes on. This subject is worthy of a blog post…
@ MattyFo
Are you working with other musicians? This is a great way to boost your skills and have fun. It requires a small commitment, but the benefit is worth every second of it.
@ Cameron Wick
What sort of work do these ‘agencies’ contract you for? That’s amazing, dude. Inspiring.
Comment by adambossy on February 20, 2009 at 11:53 am
Adam, I think it’s great to have an inquiring mind and to pursue your own learning where your curiosity takes you. “Worthwhile endeavor” can be very difficult to judge at the outset. I would trust your own instincts and internal compass: if you are learning new things and feel “flow” when you spend time on this side project, keep at it. It will have some kind of impact. One good article worth reading is Peter Drucker’s “Managing Oneself” (available here http://www.amazon.com/Managing-Oneself-Harvard-Business-Classics/dp/142212312X and a little Googling may turn up other versions as well) where he stresses the importance of learning how you learn, since learning new things will be a big part of all of our lives going forward. In my own case I have always been a connector and cross-fertilizer, trying to apply insights from one field or area to another, sometimes where they hadn’t been considered before. There are many narrow specialists out there, you should absolutely feel free to follow your Muse as long as you are learning. One good book on this is “The Three Boxes of Life” by Richard Nelson Bolles http://www.amazon.com/Three-Boxes-Life-How-Them/dp/0913668583 which covers life work planning: the three boxes are education, work, retirement (play).
Comment by Sean Murphy on February 20, 2009 at 1:10 pm
Excellent post Adam!
Intellectual curiosity is what drives us and you do not need acceptance (both socially and monetarily) to pursue something. For my birthday last week I bought myself a banjo and now I’m devoting time to learning because I have always been inspired by the great Bela Fleck. This hobby will not bring me money and socially it’s a bit off, but I’m doing it for me.
This brings me to my main point. You do not need to be wealthy to pursue something you love. You just need to be able to sustain the lifestyle you want. I recommend reading Timothy Ferriss’s “The Four Hour Work Week”. An excellent book on setting up your life to support whatever it is that you want to do. I am currently working towards setting up my life to be able to travel to where ever I want, whenever I want, and also learn anything I want without having to worry about if it brings me money or not. Learn just to learn, nothing else.
Comment by Ronak Patel on February 20, 2009 at 2:20 pm
I will see your grades/job vs interests and up you family. You said it well: the problem of intellectual curiosity. I have not always balanced it well, yet if I had not done what I had done, I would not be in my fourth year of medical school, the first person in my family to have the big D in some letters after Olson. I try to limit the projects. I think one thing I have found is that there is a very steep slope to gain entry to something. In my case, first it was cycling, and then the pre-reqs for medical school (taken at night, married with two kids, and a 60-80 hr/wk job), then computing. In this most recent case, I fell into a free computer at an opportune time (the summer after the first year of med school), installed Linux, and now, two and a half years later, with essentially no human-in-the-same-room help, I finally understand enough that I can “decide” what to learn next. On the flip side, now, at 33, between cycling, physics, medicine, computing, and the military, I feel like I have the base of physical, mental, and social knowledge, skills, and experience that *I* want, so I can solve meaningful problems. I have neglected foreign languages and music since high school; maybe I will take those up at some point, but I don’t feel any overwhelming compulsion to address those issues right now, though I certainly encourage my kids to explore them.
I think there we may be intuitively responding to a real social problem: in a hyperspecialized society it becomes progressively more difficult to cross the divide between subjects. There becomes a profound need for extremely well-informed generalists to build bridges.
Comment by Niels Olson on February 20, 2009 at 3:01 pm
(2)s/I think there we/I think we/
Comment by Niels Olson on February 20, 2009 at 3:04 pm
Ok first things first, regardless of the Beatles being able to read music they had practiced together for thousands of hours, that is why they were so good. I honest don’t think their ability/inability to read ’sheet music’ had much of an impact on their innovative’ness.
Second, yes it’s kind of tragic that our society is a system that encourages people to produce things of ‘value’. Personally, I am stuck in a bind as a pretty average 20 something with a degree in Communications and some sales experience. I fell off of the programming wagon my freshman year of college and while I’m still a geek, it’s hard to get back on it. To be truthful it is a matter of dedication and consistency.
My current job also helps, I’ve moved closer to the field I want to be in and while I’m only a content editor I work with HTML/CSS everyday and I’m thinking more digital then I was doing IT hardware sales. In the future I hope to go freelance and truly be the master of my time, until then I will use the sparse hours I do have, (hopefully)to their full potential.
One last thing, I decided after graduation that I wanted to make music and I started down that path. Two and a half years later I’m a half decent musician and love every minute of it. Will I gig? Nothing more then an open mic night. Will I record an album? Maybe self-produced (because it’s fun).
Will I ever make a career out of it? Never, but how much does that REALLY matter when I’m already happy?
PS I finally made my first track http://www.whatsamattyfo.com/music/amGFE7_full_track.mp3
Comment by MattyFo on February 20, 2009 at 4:08 pm
Adam, great post and completely correct!
I have two contributions/solutions. Recently, I’ve become friends with freelance/entrepreneur/young/hipster/coworkers/twitters of Austin. Theses people do not suffer from this problem! Because they do what they want to do. Freelancing gives them the possibility of a) working on what they want b) when they want c) where they want. For instance, several of them went out on a sunday and monday to some ranch in mid Texas. Just totally random. Never planned. Another guy just decided to go to SF for the week. Why? Because he can! They have the time to go out to sixth street every night if they want, wake up at 10… and still make a living. Of course it is a risky thing to do… but you are doing what you want!
I feel that I am suffering from this now, but just for another year and a half. I started my PhD, and I have to keep taking courses. However, the courses are only for 2 years. After that, I am a free man! I can work on my dissertation, have the liberty to do what I want. And if I am lucky, and I finish quickly, I have even more time. Once you finish your PhD, you have solved a hard problem (hopefully a business related problem), that nobody has solved before! Then you are ready to start your company around this problem, and just have fun solving them for other people.
My 2 cents
Comment by Juan Sequeda on February 20, 2009 at 4:25 pm
Same here dude. Still looking for a solution. Will share if I find.
. Nice read to end up my day. Have to wake up for another day long day.
Comment by Chanux on February 20, 2009 at 6:05 pm
I felt those same exact forces drawing me towards various pursuits when I was attending college a few years ago. A day would not go by without coming across a book I couldn’t read, a film I couldn’t see, a project I couldn’t work on, or an album I couldn’t buy because I was merely a student.
All I wanted to do was spend time doing “homework” that I wanted to do. Just spend my time the way I wanted to spend it. As simple and as complicated as that. My solution to the dilema was such:
I left not just school, but nearly all of society all together. This decision was made summer of 2005 when I was 19 years old and it was the best decision I ever made.
I have learned more in the past 3-4 years than I did in the previous 15. Where before I knew not nothing of politics I know watch C-Span like a pro football match. “Ah shit Chuck Grassley’s bouts ta hand Jamie Dimon a mo fuckin smack down!”
Where before I had to concentrate on only one medium of learning, film, I have now read more non-fiction than my parents and grandparents ever have, combined. I’ve written a screenplay that I really enjoyed writing and think is my best work yet, I’ve traveled around the country producing and directing a documentary film, I lived in the Hollywood Hills for a month and hung out with Kato Kaelin and other C listers numerous times, Ha! All because I now have the time to do what I want to do. This is not to say I don’t have to work jobs any longer. I didn’t “retire” from the economy permanently. I just come back when I need to come back. The discovery of temp agencies is what has made all this more than possible.
One time I was working a temp job, saving up everything I can, when I get a call from a friend asking if I wanted to work on a documentary near the border of Mexico about bi-lingual kindergarteners. I LEPT at the chance. I had maybe 700 dollars saved from working the last two months. I quit the next day, paid my rent for the next month to my roommates ($375), packed a bag and headed out to the desert for 3 weeks. When I got back I had maybe 50 dollars to my name and no job. I contacted another agency, got an interview, and was back to plugging in numbers for 10/hour in no time.
All in all, just do what you WANT to do and not what you are SUPPOSED to do. The main issue I had with leaving “the system” was how people would view me once I left. The scorn of my family and my peers as a drop out, a loser, a going nowhere nobody fuck-up. But what I found was the exact opposite. I was praised for my defiance, my integrity, and my drive. I work harder now than I ever did, but the difference is that now I feel a grand sense of accomplishment and satisfaction from it.
Comment by Cameron Wick on February 20, 2009 at 6:08 pm
there is no simple or universal solution. Your problem as posted is simply not really a problem either, since it is not exact. Basically, do part time job. Or, work for a few years, then quit for a few.
you can research on polymaths. Basically, in modern society, there are almost no such. The progress of tech & info, and modern society, made polymath obsolete. Unless you concentrate on one particular area, say, web app programing, then you might achieve something. Else, you are nobody. Sure, you can still acquire expertise in many other diverse areas… piano, chess, academic subjects such as particular area of physics, chemistry, medicine…, math, pro xyz sport player…, writing etc. You may be accomplished in some, you’ll never be even near the top circle.
Comment by Xah Lee on February 23, 2009 at 8:52 pm
Growing up, there was never an option other than “doing what you love.” This always meant that I was probably going to be poor, because my interests were in no way monetarily advantageous (writing, philosophy, music, dance, etc…). I developed a somewhat clear sense of what I loved and what I did not, however as I’ve grown those interests have expanded and altered.
A writer, a musician, a traveler, a scientist, a philosopher, an artist, a professional snowboarder, a dancer, a culinary artist, a teacher, a vagabond, a mother, a helper, are all ways of life - reasonable or completely irrational, safe or risky, within or out of my capabilities - that I have aspired to live. This is a fundamental conflict in my life. The genesis of my current path sprouted from the desire to help others, mainly psychologically. Since then I have always tried to find ways to reach out, but after losing all hope for humanity, I grew into passions within, one of them being the human mind.
As my interest in the mind fails to discontinue and only grows stronger, the realization of what it will take to become an expert in the field, and what I may have to sacrifice to attain that level of expertise, is a bit less auspicious. It will take in depth knowledge of some fields and basic knowledge in others including chemistry, biology, physics, statistics, computer science, philosophy, and psychology. Sacrifices I might have to make and that I have already made, are time, which influences traveling, pursuing other interests, such as learning the guitar, photography, playing the piano (stopped a couple of years ago due to lack of time and energy to practice), and dancing (stopped a couple of years ago having a commitment of 5 hours/day, 6 days/week for several years due to no future for a career and no time to commit).
This has led me to a more profound consideration of my choices in my interests of pursuit and the burden that is my freedom. I could do anything. I have a world and lifetime of opportunity. Is the interest I have decided to pursue and the path/reason to pursue it a product of my own identity and will? Or is it a product of society? Is it not too late to pursue something else after two years of hard work and thousands of dollars put into college? Do I not have an obligation of responsibility to the decision I have made?
I cannot answer the burden of freedom but I can consider the answer to will. Fundamentally, who do I want to be? Do I want to live passionately, by impulse - in the moment - with little inhibition to follow my desires, living unconventionally, and freely, with no future career in the line up, with no reward to to put everything I have, all my energy, all that I am, into? Do I quit school to dance just to dance and take lessons without any implication of becoming a professional dancer, to learn the piano just to master the most challenging, seizing compositions of time, to work in a bookstore to follow the journeys of characters from every classic literary configuration (this list could go on)? OR, do I live patiently, focused and determined, working through complexity, resisting other desires to obtain a certain understanding?
My only solution is to live to my fullest capacity. For me, my fullest capacity is to advance myself as a human being as much as possible. This entails developing and strengthening myself intellectually, intrapersonally, interpersonally, and transpersonally. The only way I can actually see beauty in truth, and also appreciate it, is to purse whatever interest, for now psychology, with no expectation of what may come of it. I cannot expect to have an impressive gpa, to graduate, to go to grad school, to be successful within the field, etc. because then I find myself pursuing psychology for the sake of those rewards and focusing on the outcome, rather than the original, inspiring, reasons I pursued psychology. I have to pursue it with no intention, no expectation of where I will end up later, but merely because it is fascinating, because I have a burning sensation to understand it.
This way, I can be free, and maybe in being free I can be happy…happy doing not only what I love but happy in doing anything.
Comment by Ali Bossy on March 2, 2009 at 12:28 am
Also, if the outcome turns out to be good - graduating, getting into grad school, success, etc., then the pursuit of that interest can grow and the journey can continue. If not, then another interest can be pursued. It is just important to know how far one can make it. I just think that when the process in getting there is focused on the outcome, the process may not be as fascinating or enjoyable, and the outcome may never come.
peace
Comment by Ali Bossy on March 2, 2009 at 12:32 am
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